The futility of the exercise was most apparent to the third of their party, Dan, who had been standing beneath the beacon of departure the whole time to retrieve the frisbee and pitch it back to his less capable fellows. In an act of something short of wisdom, Dan decided to show that he would be apt at severing the exit sign from its fixture. He hurled the frisbee back to his associates with full vigor. His friends in astonishment backed away from flying disc to allow it to pass. At this very moment our hero emerged from the chamber with authority. In flagrant disregard of the dangers the hall possessed he boldly stuck his nose across the threshold and into hall, and that was all that was needed. For at that very moment the frisbee careened past the door and struck the hero on the bridge of his nose with an impact harder than a Catholic priest at a boyscout meeting. The frisbee drifted off into the distance leaving but one spot of blood at the point of contact but opposite nostril had sprayed blood across the hero's face that it looked much like the backseat of my dad's car the night of junior prom.
Our hero had been knocked out of commission; he was left with the awareness of someone who had been sniffing glue all day instead of working on her art project. Quickly his dearest companion, the Great Len, jumped into action and remarked "You're in shock" as he stroked his scraggly teenage beard. Len then began directing orders to his fellows when their RA decided she wanted no part as she may be punished for recklessly allowing the situation to arise. Dan put his brawn to better use and and biked his way many many blocks to the stadium to retrieve his car wearing only boxer shorts and a leather jacket. While the hero and his companion awaited a ride to the infirmary, a man who resembled Abu the monkey from Aladdin sacrificed his ice for intoxicating beverages to be placed on the hero's nose. Unfortunately no one had a plastic bag, or a really a better idea than paper towel so the ice was wrapped in paper towel until it disintegrated as the ice melted. The hero sat in shock with little idea of how to cope with the gooey cold mess on his hands but soon enough Dan arrived to deliver the hero and Len to the nearest emergency treatment facility.
The hero walked in alone, bloody and cold, as his associates parked the Pontiac. He approached the desk and said "I think I broke my nose." The attendant gave him a form to fill out and asked him how much pain he felt on a scale from 1 to 10. The hero boldly, bravely, and still quite dazed pondered the great sufferings of the world - starvation, having one's eyes pecked out by crows, and the dread candiru swimming up one's urethra. Compared such travesties his pain was not intolerable to the human condition and so he remarked as he staggered there "I don't know, a 2?" For this was a mistake he would pay for dearly as if he had stated a higher level of pain they would have at least given him a tylenol or something.
But untreated he wandered back to the waiting room to rejoin his fellows. He was then directed to an examination room where he waited much longer. After some time Len and Dan came to the examination room and waited even longer with the anticipation known only to fans awaiting the the start of the new Arena Football season. Then a magical elf, or possibly just a very short nurse, entered the room and took him on a mystical journey to Radiology, a magical land of gamma radiation. Much like the rooms in Boisen, Radiology was bereft of ice packs. So the elf/nurse grabbed an empty pillowcase, filled it with ice, and gave it to the hero in an effort to stop the swelling. He then waited with his companions again until many hours had passed. They waited so long Len's beard went from scraggly to full and lustrous as if it had been wash with fancy volumizing conditioner.
With the news that his nose was in fact broke, our hero left with his compatriots with a standardized list of warning signs, a pillowcase full of ice, and a feeling of emptiness like when the giant bag of M&M's won't fill the sadness. With just hours before their morning classes, Len and Dan concluded their selfless act by turning in for the evening just minutes before they had to wake for classes. They had no excuse, unlike our hero who was able to miss his classes the next morning. But with a pounding headache, blurry vision, and a little nausea he walked triumphantly to his afternoon class. He handed in his poor written paper, sat in his normal seat, and was passed out well before the start of the lecture.
