Monday, February 15, 2010

Presidential Hootenanny

So I was driving Pico Blvd today and saw some guy riding a mechanical bull outside an old warehouse. I looked a little closer and to my surprise that guy was former President Richard Nixon. So I pull in, take a picture, and yell "Hey Tricky Dick, what's up?"

Apparently there is some annual shindig in LA every year with all the former President's going wild. Nixon said I could go in and that's when things got weird. First thing I saw was America's original sweetheart First Lady Dolly Madison rubbing her booty up on the junk of the Father of the Constitution James Madison.

And then I look to my left and Eisenhower was doing shots with Woodrow Wilson. While on my right I saw George Washington and Thomas Jefferson doing body shots off some woman they met on the bus - they had pregamed heavily and chose to be responsible because they are two responsible dudes being president's and all.

Then I went into the back room and Harry S Truman (The S stands for 'S') was holding a beer bong for Franklin Roosevelt. FDR did three beers without a break - it was sweet.


But then John F. Kennedy decided to one up the New Dealers. So he grabbed Martin Van Buren, Theodore Roosevelt, and Ulysses S Grant (The S stands for Ulysses) for some assistance. They held him up and he did a keg stand. I don't know how much was in it when he started but it was empty when he was done.

Later on I was talking to Andrew Jackson about how much Kentucky sucks. Well Old Hickory was thoroughly inebriated and a little animated which caused our conversation to lead to him getting into a fight with Abraham Lincoln. Honest Abe got in a few good licks, but as this picture shows - Jackson humiliated him.


All in all it was a crazy night. I saw some cool things but there was one image I could not get out of my head. Damn Reagan.

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